The Art of Dying?
Some people say they'd rather die than sing karaoke, dance in front of their friends, or give a speech to a crowd. They don’t really mean this literally. They are simply expressing their deep fear of embarrassment.
Embarrassment is a normal human experience that we all feel from time to time. This uncomfortable feeling results from our self-pride being compromised. A healthy amount of pride keeps us from unnecessary shame that can bring us negative attention. Too much pride, however, can be our downfall.
How does this tie to martial arts, you may ask?
Bruce Lee made a cameo in the 1971 TV series “Longstreet”. In this episode, he said
“Like everyone else, you want to learn the way to win. But never to accept the way to lose. To accept defeat, to learn to die is to be liberated from it. So when tomorrow comes, you must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying.”
Did Bruce Lee mean a literal physical death? No. His quote means you need to learn from your failure, be present in the moment, and adapt to change.
A full cup can’t take water anymore, just as someone with too much pride cannot be taught.
As martial arts students, by letting go of our ego (pride), we put ourselves in a constant state of learning. Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, and Judo have endless scenarios that can happen in their application. No matter the student’s experience level, there is still more to learn and opportunities to share what we learn with our teammates.
Yes, it will happen. We will try something new in the gym; we will feel the eyes watching us from our friends and coaches. We want to look fluid and perfect.
But when we try something and don’t get it right, we feel embarrassed. This is okay!
Before we allow ourselves to shut down or get frustrated, laugh at yourself, accept it, and evaluate what happened.
Some of us may be tempted to look at our less experienced peers and feel superior, because we think we know more than they do; stop yourself from feeling this way!
Focus on yourself and realize you are still learning too.
When it is time to go over fundamentals, go through it again like it was your first time.
When you are partnered with someone less experienced than you, help them through the drill and take the time to slow down.
If you are a male partnered with a female, focus on technique rather than power.
If you didn’t perform at your best today, evaluate why and try again tomorrow.
When a moment comes and you feel your ego is overinflating, 'die to yourself' and deny your impulse to be frustrated, impatient, or defeated. Accept what is happening in the present moment, learn from it, and continue to build on your skills on a daily basis.
Pride will be your enemy when you are learning a new skill. Humility will be your friend in your training. It will help you build others up and fortify your mental strength for internal and external challenges in the gym and everyday life.